Violence is never the solution, except when it’s the only solution.  It is best to be prepared for violence, even if you hope never to use it – one might even go so far as to say that strengthening oneself for the possibility of violence is part of the self-preparation of a truly devoted and clear-minded pacifist.  Someone who says “let’s not fight” is far more persuasive when they actually stand a chance of winning the hypothetical fight. 

But also – and this is absolutely key – you must equally prepare yourself for nonviolent conflict resolution.  Someone who trains for self-defense, but doesn’t invest at least as much in learning the ways of peacemaking and de-escalation, cannot claim to abhor violence.

When conflict looms, making peace requires more than just the desire to avoid violence.  Making peace requires diplomacy, self-control, humility and sacrifice.  The world is full of people who claim to want peace but have not developed the character and the capacity for self-abnegation that is essential for peacemaking. 

Declining to fight, but leaving conflicts unresolved, is not making peace; it is just taking a rain check on the brawl.