I’ve heard a lot of jokes, but this remains my all-time favorite. Like all the best jokes, there is something to it beyond humor. It contains an observation of humanity. Here goes.
A traveller hears about an old wise man who lives in solitude at the top of a nearby mountain, doing nothing but meditating, day in, day out. He decides to climb the mountain to seek the wisdom of this old sage. He climbs and climbs, suffering bitter cold winds and his fingers aching and raw from clinging to the sharp, hard rocks. Finally, he drags himself upon the flat summit of the mountain, and sees the ancient hermit sitting there, cross-legged, eyes closed, contemplating the mysteries of the universe.
“O wise one, I’ve climbed for three days and nights, seeking your wisdom” he says.
The wise man slowly opens his eyes. “What is the mystery that has driven you to undertake such a climb in search of an answer?”
“O wise one, this is the knowledge I seek – the earth is flat, as we all know…”
“Yes, of course.” says the wise man.
“So if the earth is flat like a slice of bread, then what holds it up? Why doesn’t it just fall down?”
The wise man holds out a hand, then points one finger downward, dramatically: “The earth rests on the back of an enormous elephant, larger than you could possibly imagine.”
“Aha!” says the traveller, “I thought it was something like that! Thank you, great master, for sharing your learning with me.” Then he starts back down the mountain. For three days and three nights he scrambles down the mountain, enduring bitter cold and dodging mountain lion attacks, until he is finally back in the green valley below.
As he sees the lush, warm valley again, a thought strikes him. “Huh!” he exclaims, and turns around and climbs back up the mountain. This time it takes him four days and nights, because he’s tired – four days of wrestling himself up those craggy slopes with cold rains lashing down and hard winds trying to throw him off the mountainside.
He drags himself to the summit, utterly exhausted, to see the wise man still sitting in the same place, serene as ever.
“O wise one!” he says, “I beg you answer one more question.” The old man opens one wrinkled eye, looking a bit annoyed to have his meditations interrupted again, and grumbles “Ask and you shall have your answer.”
“Alright,” the man pants, “so the world is resting on the back of a great elephant.”
“As all the wise know.” returns the sage.
“Right, so what stops the elephant from falling?”
The old wise man breathes deeply, summoning patience, and pronounces, “This mystery only the very wisest understand: the elephant is perched on the back of a great bull of unimaginable size.”
The weary seeker crumples to his knees, relieved. “Of course, it had to be something like that! Thank you again, O far-seer, for your gift of wisdom.”
“No problem.” the old man grunts, and returns to his contemplations.
The traveller starts the descent of the great mountain again, eager to return to the warmth and life of the valley. He’s halfway down when he stops dead in his tracks, stunned by a thought. He heaves a sigh, turns around, and heads back up the mountain. Back up he climbs, facing frostbite, perilous drops, a fuckin yeti attack, all sorts of difficulty.
Finally, he reaches the top, utterly spent. He addresses the hermit again: “O great old wise one, O font of knowledge and profundity, please permit me to seek your counsel one more time, for I have suffered much hardship in the pursuit of an answer!”
The old wise man frowns at him, clearly getting a bit grumpy now after being distracted yet again from his profound musings. “Yes yes, ask your question and I shall enlighten you.”
“Alright,” the battered pilgrim starts, “the world rests on the back of the great elephant, and the elephant sits on the giant bull…” The fellow pauses, unsure if he is great enough to contain the outpouring of wisdom that he is about to receive. “…so what stops the bull from falling down then?”
“Ah, you have a most penetrating mind, you are about the reach a level of enlightenment that only a very few ever have!” declares the guru. “For you see, the almighty bull, in its vastness, stands upon a turtle of truly stupendous size!”
The questioner is staggered by the revelation, and falls on his back to lay prostrate in wonderment, staring up at the night sky, weeping with the joy of enlightenment.
After a while, he sits up, and shares a deep, knowing look with the old wise man. Then a thought occurs to him, he cocks his head and starts “So, if the elephant is on the . . . “
“Look,” the wise man snaps, “it’s just turtles all the way down from there, man!”
So that’s my favorite joke. That’s how I tell it, more or less. I’m not 100% certain but I think I first heard it told by Dr. Carl Droms, a professor of mathematics at my alma mater, JMU. He wasn’t my professor, I avoided math, but he sponsored a student club that I was in, and he was a great friend and wit.
Here’s what I like about this joke. It works on different levels, kind of like that stack of giant animals referenced in the joke itself. And each stratum of humor in it points to something worth reflecting on. It’s a joke about wisdom that itself contains some wisdom, behind the scenes.
First of all, it pokes fun at a very real proposition for the structure of the universe once believed by serious people. Which in itself is funny. Then, there’s the little joke inside the joke, in the setup: the traveller’s question begins, “as we all know, the earth is flat…” and the guru goes right along with it. This is the moment we see this guru isn’t all that. Then there is the comedy of the traveller’s rather unimaginative quest for wisdom. And finally the guru’s patience gives way, and he shows his hand. Either he’s been making it up all along, or the traveller has pushed one farther than even his own “knowledge” goes, and he’s forced to improvise an answer on the spot. And the answer, “turtles all the way down from there,” leads our train of thought gently from this joke at the expense of the poor ignorant ancients, to the concept of infinity, which is the modern person’s contemplative boulder to budge.
And that transition is what makes it so much more than a joke to me. It is a nugget of wisdom, a reminder that some of the bedrock assumption truths we hold today will be joke fodder tomorrow. Reality exists, but truth runs like sand between the fingers of mankind.
Take a long step back, so you can scope the full run of history, and you’ll see no eternal sages. Even the wisest are revealed as fools by time.